Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from millennium. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with evils, cause misery, and other troubles. Also you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age dissimilarity, faith background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married dating.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I think generally though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos humanity has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anyone else? You would need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest group, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown separately, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair